Bet You're Sorry You Asked, Huh?

And for this I went to DM School?

Seeing as this little bit of quiz is making the rounds of the gaming community courtesy of Zak S., he of  the Vornheim OSR supplement and the D&D With Porn Stars blog (thanks loads), I thought I'd take a whack at it.  Dunno if it'll give you some insight into me or my game style but it's a cheap laugh at my expense for your entertainment.  Don't say I never gave ya nuthin'.  Enjoy:

1. If you had to pick a single invention in a game you were most proud of what would it be?

Death Knights for my old 2E game.  They get a +1 to hit/damage if they smear the blood of their freshly slain enemy on them.  Made the PCs go NUTS.  Even the neutral cleric wanted their heads.  Ah, memories…

2. When was the last time you DMed?

Last night.  Ran the first part of Quest for The Silver Sword for my 8 Y-O grandson and his friend.

3. When was the last time you played?

Last week, DM Brian's 2E Mystara: three PCs, a dwarf myrmadon (me), a half-orc swashbuckler (DM FulOnGamer), and a half-elf  mealiden (I have no idea what that is) (Allie, DM Brian's ex-fiance) plus a few others as NPCs.  We're heading to The Horror on the Hill.  Oh boy.

4. Give us a one-sentence pitch for an adventure you haven’t run but would like to.

The PCs have to help a farmer save his druid sister from being kidnapped and getting "hitched" shotgun-style by a clan of redneck/hillbilly orcs.

5. What do you do while you wait for players to do things?

Look over my notes and keep an ear open in case they say anything "interesting.".

6. What, if anything, do you eat while you play?

Anything from salt & vinegar chips to a full meal, although we usually pause the gtame for that.

7. Do you find DMing physically exhausting?

Yeah, unfortunately.  Must be my age, although it doesn't make me anywhere NEAR as tired as running Champions.  Those battles really take a lot out of me.

8. What was the last interesting (to you, anyway) thing you remember a PC you were running doing?

A wizard character of mine in a long-ago 2E Forgotten Realms game using the Grease spell on a set of stairs, waiting for the orcs to come down and landing in a heap at the foot of the stairs, and the DM determining that the Grease spell is flammable.

9. Do your players take your serious setting and make it unserious? Vice versa? Neither?

It's hard to take any games I run serious when you're dealing with a nutjob like me behind the screen.

10. What do you do with goblins?

Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew…

11. What was the last non-RPG thing you saw that you converted into game material (background, setting, trap, etc.)?

None that I can recall, although I do like to add Steampunk elements into my world.

12. What’s the funniest table moment you can remember right now?

A recent Labyrinth Lord Skype game DM Chrispy ran.  A low-INT PC was fighting what he thought was a dragon but was actually an illusion thrown up by another character.  The character controlling the illusion dispelled it at the exact moment the PC thrust his sword into the beast's breast.  He is still convinced he defeated an actual dragon.

13. What was the last game book you looked at–aside from things you referenced in a game–why were you looking at it?

The D&D Rules Cyclopedia, as I was prepping for the last game I ran.

14. Who’s your idea of the perfect RPG illustrator?

A tie between Jenell Jaquays and Jim Holloway.

15. Does your game ever make your players genuinely afraid?

Nope.  Then again, they're about 8…

16. What was the best time you ever had running an adventure you didn’t write? (If ever)

Running Goblin Gully with my grandson and his friends.  Nothing like watching fledgling gamers stretch their role-playing muscles.

17. What would be the ideal physical set up to run a game in?

My own game room with a nice big round table with plenty of room to walk around, all the dice I need and reference books at hand.

18. If you had to think of the two most disparate games or game products that you like what would they be?

Lamentations of The Flame Princess and TOON.

19. If you had to think of the most disparate influences overall on your game, what would they be?

Film Noir and The Three Stooges.

20. As a GM, what kind of player do you want at your table?

One who likes being part of a great adventure and not afraid to contribute to it.  A player who takes chances and thinks out of the box.  It may be more work for me, but in the long run it makes the game all that better and more fun.

21. What’s a real life experience you’ve translated into game terms?

None that I can think of...

22. Is there an RPG product that you wish existed but doesn’t?

I'm sure there is, but nothing comes to mind right now…

23. Is there anyone you know who you talk about RPGs with who doesn’t play? How do those conversations go?

I don't.  Aside from my grandsons, no one in my family has an interest in RPGs.  My wife will occasionally listen to something, but on the whole I really don't talk RPGs around them.  It would be pointless.