Thursday, February 05, 2009

Getting A Heart-On

How Godzilla Reproduces
February. Yep, it's here again. The time of year when Cupid shoots an arrow into a hole in the ground, a groundhog comes out, sees his shadow and goes back in the hole where he's sitting on his upholstered couch eating pizza and watching a good movie on his big plasma set (while trying to ignore the Super Bowl party going on in the hole next to him), afterwards nailing Mrs. Groundhog under the sheets. Yeah, sure. Punxsatawney Phil should have it so good. Hell, I should.

The general consensus of the Big Day (Valentine's) seems to be split down the middle with most of the populace. Either you like it or hate it. The opinions wavers, depending on A. your gender, or B. your degree of attachment with another. I remember I hated Valentine's when I was single, because I was single. Now I hate it because I'm married, but we're always broke around that time, so no celebration for us.

Actually, my stance on the holiday falls into the Secondary Holiday category, where I don't care about it, but it has a perk that makes it tolerable. There are three: Valentine's (candy), Easter (more candy) and St. Patrick's Day (booze). Well, the third one you really don't need a holiday for, but there's more happy drunks out and about (the Mexican version - Cuervo, uh Cinco de Mayo is an unoffical fourth Seconday for the same reason as St. Paddy's Day).

There is also a third category which is all the other holidays such as Columbus Day, MLK's Day and things like Flag and Arbor Day that don't mean anything to me because usually the only folks who get them off are govamint workers.

So Happy February Holidays, folks. I'll be thinking nice thoughts while breaking my dentures on Conversation Hearts (damn, those things are addictive).

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