Green Beer and Ham(s)

I've got a film recommendation for you (and the picture should give you a clue what film it is), but that can keep until next time. Why? St. Patty's Day is today, good reason for even temperance folk to let loose, belly up to the bar and be Irish whether you are or not.

Now I know the folks over in good ol' Éire are either shaking or laughing their heads off at the Yanks who get all teary-eyed listening to Mother Machree or misty-eyed watching The Quiet Man while getting stinko but hey, it's the sentiment that counts and besides, there's booze. So shut up and have another round on us.

Besides, we can all pretend we're Mexican and down Modelos pretty soon.

Twit-Willow or The Face on The Bitroom Floor

Well, they got me. Social Networking. I knew I could resist, but I finally succumbed. made a solomn vow long ago to resist as long as I could and never register on MySpace (I heard too many bad things about it and besides, there's too damn many adolescents there), but, in the end, I fell to Facebook. Seems all my theatre friends were Facebooking and, after checking it out, I took the plunge. It's sort of like plunging into a vat of hot oil as opposed to a vat of acid, but the die is cast. I was also talked into joining Twitter.

As one of thses kind of sites go, it's pretty good. It's a lot tidier and I feel they screen folks better so don't worry about talking to some pedolhile or mass-murderer. I also don't get propositioned for sex-sites and such (hey, they gotta make a buck too, but not off of me).

BUT, it's also a time-vampire (yeah, like I got anything better to do). Another thing you gotta watch out for: when you register, the floodgates open and everyone comes out of the woodwork. Remember Uncle Succotash who's always trying to borrow money or that jerk in the office you studiously avoid? I'll bet my last Samolian they're on Facebook somewhere and if they don't have the radar to ferret you out, the website helps. It runs up a red flag to all those folks and says "HEY! WE GOT ANOTHER ONE!"

Now, as way of disclaimer, I don't mean the folks I have as friends now. I was lucky enough that all the folks I talk to on FB are the best. I'm just warning you that EVERYBODY on FB will know you're on FB. Caveat Emptor.

Yes, you can always deny their "friendship", but that gets a bit tiring after a while (and nothing like how I used to get hit on for a "friend" on Orkut - seems they were all from Brazil, too - coincidence?).

So, you can find me on Facebook under my real name, Glen Hallstrom. You can also find me as Smokestack Jones on Twitter, a service I don't get at all. I own a really old cell phone, so it's practically of no use to me and I can update my status on FB, whereas Twitter, that's all it's for. Oh well, Mad Dogs and Netsurfers...

Getting A Heart-On

February. Yep, it's here again. The time of year when Cupid shoots an arrow into a hole in the ground, a groundhog comes out, sees his shadow and goes back in the hole where he's sitting on his upholstered couch eating pizza and watching a good movie on his big plasma set (while trying to ignore the Super Bowl party going on in the hole next to him), afterwards nailing Mrs. Groundhog under the sheets. Yeah, sure. Punxsutawney Phil should have it so good. Hell, I should.

The general consensus of the Big Day (Valentine's) seems to be split down the middle with most of the populace. Either you like it or hate it. The opinions wavers, depending on A. yoour gender, or B. your degree of attachment with another. I remember I hated Valentine's when I was single, because I was single. Now I hate it because I'm married, but we're always broke around that time, so no celebration for us.

Actually, my stance on the holiday falls into the Secondary Holiday category, where I don't care about it, but it has a perk that makes it tolerable. There are three: Valentine's (candy), Easter (more candy) and St. Patrick's Day (booze). Well, the third one you really don't need a holiday for, but there's more happy drunks out and about (the Mexican version - Cuervo, uh Cinco de Mayo is an unoffical fourth Seconday for the same reason as St. Patty's Day).

There is also a third category which is all the other holidays such as Columbus Day, MLK's Day and things like Flag and Arbor Day that don't mean anything to me because usually the only folks who get them off are govamint workers.

So Happy February Holidays, folks. I'll be thinking nice thoughts while breaking my dentures on Conversation Hearts (damn, those things are addictive).

The Short Bus to '09

Wow, 2008 is gone. Felt the breeze of that one go over my head (not having much hair up there, I feel a lot of breezes). And here it is, end of January and I'm just getting to the End of Year recap. Ahhh, I been busy (sort of). And therein lies a tale...

Not much of a tale, really. Been trying to get an audiobook read and out the door, not an easy task when you got the holidays upon you and fighting the blues. I get depressed a lot during the year, but I actively fight it during the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays. I love that time of year too much to let me ruin it. So Get Back Satan! You ain't gonna get me down with Santa and a turkey in front of me!

Well, let's see...had the Vegas trip in March (you guys know all about that one), had to cancel SoCal with the grandson(s) due to time and money constraints, had a temp job for about four months (it was supposed to be for the Cal trip, but too many people holding out their hands) aaaand that's about it. Oh yeah, my audiobook adventures have taken a turn for the better. I got hold (via Librivox) of a chap named Simon in th UK who produces audiobooks and I did one for him (allong with some Lovecraft). It led to some folks in Canada wanting me to do a book for them, which I finished this month. It's getting my name out there and some of it might actually pay real money. Keep you posted.

Well, I don't really have a rundown of my DVD purchases this time, as the one place I was keeping my info (DVDSpot) decided to pull the plug. That still hurts; I liked that site. So, here's some highlights:

It's been a year for completing collections: Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume 6 finishes off that series (although WHV sez more titles will come outside that set), Got all the Walt Disney Treasures I've planned of with the release of The Chronological Donald Volume 4, Popeye the Sailor Volumes 1-3 were released, which completes the black and whites, which is as far as I'm gonna go with it (I don't like the color series), The Three Stooges Collection is up to four volumes, which pretty much covers the Curley years (next is the Shemp Era, then I stop - Besser and DeRita will not darken my video shelves). Traded in my Best of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello set for the new Abbot and Costello: the Complete Universal Collection box (and a gorgeous box it is). Finally got around to getting Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3, TCM Archives: The Buster Keaton Collection was got over the holidays, as was The Marx Brothers Collection, a nice companion to my Marx Brothers Silver Screen Collection,the 50th anniversary set of Touch of Evil replaced my old copy and, oh yes, I have added a collection of the Great Man, with Universal's The W.C Fields Comedy Collection Volume 1 and 2 plus Criterion's W.C. Fields: 6 Short Films. The Godfather: The Coppola Restoration was another holiday gift and, also on the Criterion front, The Thief of Bagdad. Dark City was replaced with the Director's Cut and The Day The Earth Stood Still (the original) makes a surprising appearance in the collection.

There. Not bad, going from memory. Oh, one more thing: I'm on Facebook (under my own Name Glen Hallstrom) and Twitter (under SmokestackJones). Don't ask...

Vegas Part 3: Ditties And Dykes or Dumbo #5

Okay, one final Vegas story:


One thing I like to do when in Sin City is sing, and that means Kar-A-Oke (as opposed to a singing Okie, which I'm not). Somethng about the glitz of the city makes even the smallest karaoke dive seem special - I can actually fool myself into thinking I Made It. Plus, I meet a lot of nice folks.

So, Wednesday night we go out to get a bite to eat and end up (after a little brush with the ultra-fancy B&B's) at Battista's. If you like Italian, I highly recommend it. It's pricey (it averages about 30 bucks a person), but you get a complete Italian dinner. It's also a real "joint" as in a Fun Place. This is the kind of eatery where your folks and relatives like to eat and have a good time: small booths and tables and bric-a-brac all over the place, menu on the walls, autographed pictures, that kind of thing. And the house vino is great.

Anyway, the upshot was that it's popular and we didn't get there all that early, so we had to wait for a while, which means we didn't get to Ellis Island (My karaoke place from two years ago ) until about 10. The list was kind of long, so I said the hell with it and we left - not after making some coin on their big Wheel of Fortune machine, though.

SO, fast-forward to Thursday. We just get out of the early performance of Jersey Boys (an excellent show, BTW - I highly recommend it) and we're looking for something to do. In the room, I hop on the Net, find out that Dino's Place up the Strip is doing karaoke tonight so I change my shoes and we go.

Dino's Place is a bar up north Strip. Typical bar set-up, pool tables in the back, stage for live performances, regular clientele, the usual. I feel at home already. I give my name and selections to the KJ and order drinks, margarita for Becky and Meyer's Dark and Coke for me. About Drink #3, we strike up a conversation with a youngish gal, who think Becky's "fantastic - and so are you" referring to me and my Golden Tonsils.

Meanwhile, the KJ (after my lament that I can never find certain songs I want to sing) showed me another songbook he had, one that had titles but no disc numbers. I asked him where the numbers were and he says "that's okay - just write the title down." I perused the book and was astonished to find a lot of songs I couldn't find elsewhere. After picking out and singing Artificial Flowers, I asked him where he got these. He replied (in a guarded monotone) "sorry, I can't tell you..."

Meanwhile, a couple are taking Becky up and I came back for more booze. Becky herself was buzzed, but coherent - not so with me. I was on R&C #5 and I was flyin' (except onstage - when I sing, I'm stone-cold sober - actor's training). I'm totally oblivious to what Becky and them are talking about.

As the night wears on, we split, me vowing to come back tomorrow night (we never made it). In the car on the way back, Becky was happy and I was feeling no pain. After realizing she was jovial over something other than the alcohol, I asked her what's up. "You didn't notice what happened back there?" I answered in the negative. "I was being hit on by a lesbian and another couple." I blinked. "Really? Cool!"

"Cool? I thought you'd be upset because of what Anne did to you."

"Nah, " I said, attempting to right myself, "I got over that quite a while ago. I just like the idea that my wife can get someone of either sex. Kind of a thrill."

"You're not jealous?"

"Nope. I may be stinko, but I know that one, you don't go in for that stuff and two, I know who you're going home with." I said these things with a "come hither" look in my eyes, although Becky later said I looked like I was rolling them back into their sockets.

"You know what?", Becky said with a smile as we pulled into the Palazzo valet, "You're right."

That night we had a real good time with the lights out. My turn to make Becky sing, heh heh heh...

Vegas Part 2: The Deuce You Say

Okay, more Vegas things.

Thursday, with Becky off to meetings, and bored with the casino thing, I decide to go aaaaaall the way down to the South of the Strip (cue Mexican music) to visit Fry's Electronics. Now this will be the first time I've stepped into a Fry's in ten years after doing a short cashier gig for them in their Palo Alto store.

Since I don't have use of our rental, I hop The Deuce. What's that, you (non-Vegas folks) say? None other than Las Vegas Rapid Transit, or to be more specific, the LVRT line that services The Strip. See, they got these double-decker buses (like in the picture) that travel up and down, all day and night. For a couple bones, it'll take you one-way and a fin will get you a day-pass. I opted for the latter.

Now let me say that I haven't been to Merrie Old England or any other places that have these type of buses, but if this is an example of a hard-top DD, I'll pass. Here's the Complete, Middle-Of-The -Strip Experience (as opposed to the Star Trek Experience, which I missed...again): I get on. It's crowded. Check that: packed is more like it. The back of the bus is where most of the seats are, due to the rig for handicapped folks. Still. if the Wheeled Brigade is not riding, it's got lots of folks standing and holding onto the straps, poles, change machine, your buddy, anything to keep from being thrown onto the floor as it's moving.

Okay, maybe there's room upstairs, so I push my way through to the stairs, climb them, and get clocked on the top of the head. By what? The roof. Yes, the upper deck works for kids and midgets, but not for a 6-6 All American Slob like me. So, doubling myself over, I find a seat close by and sit. Sitting, I'm okay.

Now, let's examine the trip. I'm going from the Palazzo (kind of middle north) to the Town Square Mall, alllll the way at the end of the strip. Of course, it wouldn't be a bus ride without a couple dozen stops, so we move down the strip, picking up and dropping off willy-nilly, Well, more like lurch. It just so happens that there's a lot of construction going on on the Strip right now, with two new casino-resorts and (just so Mr. Trump isn't lonely) five new condo-towers going up, so traffic is of the stop-and-start variety.

About fifteen lurches later, I ring the bell, unfold myself (making sure to bump my head a couple more times), climb downstairs and exit. I see a mall before me and to the left (far to the left), Fry's, my destination. The surrounding area can charitably be described as desolate. Brown as far as the eye can see, with the occasional small tree and bush, with brown mountians in the background. By the way, did I mention it was hot? Something like 90 degrees?

While taking short (?) walk to Fry's, I hallucinate I'm Harry Dean Stanton in Paris, Texas. Finally, I'm at the front door. I hang out for about an hour, looking at stuff, purchasing a DVD set, eating lunch. Time to head back. Taking a short-cut by the mall (thus avoiding Wendersland), I'm at a hot bus shelter. The bus comes soon after, and it's pretty much Same Song, Second Verse back up the Strip.

Minutes later (quite a few, actually - I went through The Venetian as to get away from the heat) I'm lying on the couch in my suite, contemplating what I just went through. I came to the conclusion that There's Gotta Be A Better Way.

Oh yeah, there is. Wait for Becky and use our rental next time.

Face Time In Vegas or The Doofus Doubles Down Deux

Spring cleaning time here at TMJ. Time to dump the junk, clear out the cobwebs and start with the writing again.

Also, time for a recap: At the GEM awards, Arsenic and Old Lace won nada, Becky got a new laptop (which I'm using at this moment), Older Stepson moved out of girlfriend's apartment (surprise surprise) and moved in with his brother and not with us (a genuine surprise). I also got a temp job to get some vacation money together later (still wanna got to California with Becky and Gage).

Oh yeah, I'm now on Facebook. I resisted and resisted, but a lot of my theater friends are on there and I wanna keep in touch.

BTW, I'm writing this from a beautiful suite in the Palazzo resort/casino in the heart of The Strip on a gorgeous Tuesday, about 12:30ish. Behind me is a big window with a spectacular view of Las Vegas.

How did this happen, you ask? Well, Becky got tapped to go to some sort of Leadership Seminar through Boeing and we decided to take me along for the ride. It was a struggle, But I said "sure, I'll go". :-)

We got here Sunday morning and I'm already exhausted. I knew I'd be walking a lot, so I got some walking shoes and sandals before I left, but it's still a pain. First day here we get corralled into listening to a timeshare presentation. I hate these things, no matter how good it sounds (and this one sounded damn good). However, they waived cheap tickets to Mystere in front of our faces and hooked us.

The presentation was nice, but when it came down to it, Becky was the Bad Cop and said no. I owed her one, so last night when we went to eat, we ended up in an ultra-fancy Italian joint that, even with Becky's per-diem was way too high. So we left, Becky claiming I was a "fussy eater" Truth be told, I am, but I hate it when people say that about me. This is something I never could understand. With the myriad sins in this world, being a "fussy eater" is a very minor one. Yet, when
someone says I'm a "fussy eater", all of a sudden I'm Pontius Pilate, Robbie Rotten and Hannibal Lechter all rolled into one. Sheesh.


Anyway, Mystere was fantastic, I'm up 40 bucks at the casinos and Becky will be off later so's we can go have more fun. Hope I get to do karaoke tonight. I also hope Becky's luck changes; she hasn't won any large amounts yet and she's waaaaay overdue.

Splenda In The Glass

Two months ago, my sister-in-law Kristi moved in with us, which is a good thing (we could use the $). Another good thing is that it gives Becky someone in her family to talk to on a regular basis. The best thing (to me) is that last week they started a low-carb diet along with a couple more of their sisters, which means I don't have to.

Now anyone who was still reading this knows that last year I made a commitment to lose weight by GenCon (September), which I didn't follow through on. I wasn't really surprised, as my history of dieting is spotty at best. If someone pushed hard enough, I'd try to lose weight, but I backslid very easy. Started when I was a kid with my mom trying to get me to diet, something I didn't really take seriously, but it did give me a lil' gremlin at the back of my mind, telling me my body was too fat (a few years ago I found some pictures of a show I did in colleges and the first thing I thought was "Ye cats, I wasn't fat - why the heck didn't I date?"). That and I grew to be 6-6 and my parents were average size (and in the case of my mom, a bit below average). But, it's gotten a bit worse since I turned 50 and now have grandkids - I wanna be around to see them grow up.

So, while I'm glad she has someone besides me to diet with, I also feel myself being pulled toward the diet thing. And, once again, that really isn't a bad thing. I find myself not drinking soda as much as I used to, eating their foods more often, etc. Who knows, I may lose some weight (and I definitely will if I start up with the gym again).

0-8-0-8-Oy

Nuthin' like the end of the year to bring me out of my cave and back into blog-land. I'm looking ahead into the new year and I see the usual: sea-poop. Yes, the future is murky but I do know that ahead are some trips to who-knows-where (hopefully one to Long Beach and one to Vegas - Becky owes me 'cuz we had to put the kibosh on Con On The Cob at the last minute), at least one more stage show and much-needed financial prosperity. Let's see what residue I left behind in '07, shall we?

The year started off with a bang by 1). not working at Renda anymore and 2). getting to play Murray in the Jewel Box Theatre production of The Odd Couple (not to mention winning a Gem award for said role). In other entertainment areas I was continuing with the karaoke including a brief stint on the other side of the mike. I signed up with a producer who hires out KJs and had a short stint (think weeks) at a local bar. That ended when the manager decided I was "too old for the crowd." I'm still with the producer and I probably should call him, but I'm not in that big of a hurry.

On the Librivox front, I managed to add Lovecraft's The Statement of Randolph Carter to the catalog. I was also contacted by a gent in the UK to do a radio drama with a couple other Librivoxers of said story. It turned out so well he asked me to do The Beast in The Cave for him, which I did. It's in editing on his end, I'll let you know how it turns out.

Also, I did a reading of A Christmas Carol for LV last year I forgot about (because I didn't get it done until February seeing as I had a cold through the holidays). Anyway, I've been getting quite a few nice emails (and a few comments here) on them. To those of you who have downloaded them from Librivox and enjoyed them, thanks. It was a pleasure to do it.

This was also the year I entered into the Wonderful (?) World of WebBlogging at YouTube. I did about a half-dozen, I'll pick out back up soon.

Later on I proved what a glutton for punishment I am by reprising a role I did at the Jewel Box in 2000. I played Jonathan Brewster in their revival production (their 50th season) of Arsenic and Old Lace. Packed houses and rave reviews with a kink in the tail when we had to cancel the final Sunday performance due to an ice storm that swept through the area (left us without Cox for four days - no internet, no phone, no cable - good thing I have a large DVD collection).

Speaking of DVDs, it's time for the Annual What I Bought Disc-Wise for 2007. ReadySetGo:

Airplane!
Animaniacs: Volume 1
Batman: The Animated Series - Volume 3
Charlotte's Web*
A Christmas Carol (Alstair Sim)
City of Lost Children*
The Classic Sci-Fi Ultimate Collection: Volume 2
The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus 16-Ton Megaset (upgrade)
Eraserhead
F For Fake: Criterion
The Fallen Idol: Criterion
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: Criterion (3rd time!)
The Film Crew: Killers From Space
The Film Crew: The Giant of Marathon
Film Noir Classic Collection
Film Noir Classic Collection: Vol. 2
Film Noir Classic Collection: Vol. 3
Film Noir Classic Collection: Vol. 4
A Fistful of Dollars
For A Few Dollars More
Fox Horror Classics
Hard Boiled
Harry and The Hendersons
Help!
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney)
The Invisible Man: The Legacy Collection
The Iron Giant (replacement copy)
Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie*
Jonny Quest: The Complete First Season
The King Kong Collection
Les Miserables: Cinema Classics Collection
Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 5
Looney Tunes: Back in Action*
The Love Bug
Matt Helm Lounge
Monsters and Madmen: Criterion
Nero Wolfe: The Complete First Season
The NeverEnding Story*
Night at the Museum
Not Just The Best of The Larry Sanders Show
Peter Pan Platinum Edition (Disney)
Popeye the Sailor: 1933-1938
The Princess Bride (upgrade)
Raging Bull Special Edition
Red Green Stuffed and Mounted Six-Pack
Reservior Dogs 15th Anniversary Edition
Rio Bravo Ultimate Collector's Edition
Sin City - Recut, Extended, Unrated
Strangers on A Train Two-Disc Edition*
Superman Returns*
Talking Heads: Stop Making Sense
The Third Man: Criterion (upgrade)
The Three Stooges Collection: Volume One - 1934-1936
Transformers: The Movie
Transformers (Michael Bay)
The Triplets of Belville
True Grit: Special Collector's Edition
The Twilight Zone: The Complete Definitive Collection
Universal Horror Classic Movie Archive
Vincent Price: MGM Screen Legends Collection
Walt Disney Treasures: The Chronological Donald Volume Three
The Woody Woodpecker and Friends Classic Cartoon Collection

* The result of Becky joining Columbia House

Oooo-eee. I count 62 discs and/or sets. Makes for a nice assortment along with enough noir to choke Mr. Ed.

Well, looks like my stepson and his kids are staying with us for a while. The stepson is suffering from strep and just had a fight with his live-in girlfriend and mother of his two boys, so time for them to camp out here for a while. Guess the holiday stress isn't quite over. Until next time, lemme leave you with a hint of coming attractions - Becky may get a professional "bump." Cross your fingers...

Vidiot Savant

Hey, haven't tossed my voice into the void for a while. How's everyone?

Time for a big steamin' pile o' update. As you can see by the picture, I'm videoblogging now. Got me a Logitech vidcamera for notebooks and launched my face into YouTube. Here's the real deal if you want to watch a middle-aged white guy go off about stupidity (there's a thought). More of those to come, as it was actually fun.


Major DVD Purchase: The Twilight Zone: The Complete Definitive Collection landed in my mitts courtesy of Walmart.com. This set is great: all five seasons (on 28 disks) of the original show with tons of extras like interviews, commentaries, etc. If you're a fan of sci-fi, Rod Serling or the show, check it out (MSRP is $299.99US but Walmart.com has it for $169.88US and if you use their Site to Store option, no shipping charges - sweet deal). This is gonna take a good long time to get through and I'm lovin' every minute of it.

I'm about a week away from vacation in New Mexico with Becky and Gage. Lookin' forward to this, if we can find a place (or places) where we can just get up in those mountains and Forget Civilization Exists for a while.

Oh, and looks like I'll be embarking on another business venture: Karaoke Host. Met the guy who runs a lot of the shows around here and we signed contracts so pretty soon I'll be making (alleged) money for something I enjoy doing (twice in my lifetime? Be still my beating heart).

That's all I got for now. Hope to update on the road so cross yer fingers.